Oba Rafiu Salami, tells ‘Nonye Ben-Nwankwo about his life and how he became the Onibeju of Ibeju Land, Lagos.
You have spent eight years as the Oba of Ibeju Lekki, how has it been since you came on the throne?
We just thank God. It has not been easy. There are challenges here and there but the ones I am facing are being taken care of by God. I have faced a lot of challenges but in recent, people have seen my work and character and they have come to realise that I am a straightforward person.
Were there controversies with your position?
A lot of people went to court. They were aggrieved. They contested the position with me. But then, at the end, I won most of the cases. When I came on board, this place was relatively bushy. But by the grace of God, development is coming on board. I went to different parts of the world calling our people residing in all those places to come home so that we could join hands and develop this place and they are coming. The government is also trying for us. We are feeling their presence and we thank God for that. The government just built a new palace for me. We are just appealing to them to give us market and potable water. In the next five years, Ibeju Lekki will become the Dubai of Africa.
Did you know you were going to be made an Oba?
No. I became an Oba through my mother’s side. My mother was a princess but my father was not royalty. After the death of my predecessor, it became the turn of my family to produce the king for Ibeju Lekki. The people consulted the oracle and went to find out who should be made the king. It was ‘ifa’ that said that the position should be given to me.
Were you at home then?
No. I never thought such would come my way. I was in Abuja then working as the bar manager at Hilton Hotel. I was asked to come back home and when I returned, I was told that the people would want me to be the next Oba of the community and after much thought, I agreed. Nobody came out then to indicate any interest. But as soon as I agreed and necessary machinery was set into motion, other people showed interest. We became 15 people that wanted to be Oba. Eventually, I was picked by God and Ifa to be the Oba.
In all these years, are there times you feel you should have stayed back in Abuja than coming back to pick up this position?
No. Abuja is not my home. It is not my birth place. I only went there to look for greener pastures. My community called me to come home and serve. I couldn’t disappoint my people. It is not possible. What was I doing there? Granted I was making money but is money everything? So when I was called to come and serve, I had to do it and I have had no cause to regret the decision. This is not a money-making position. It is just service.
Since your mother was a princess, would it be right to say that you didn’t experience any form of hardship when you were growing up?
Haba! It is not easy to be big. Before you become a big man or woman, you must have gone through a lot in life. God will do it in such a way that you must face challenges for you to rise up. I experienced a lot of difficulties during my youthful days.
Didn’t you go to school?
I went to school and with the little one I read, I started working. I was born at Sapele (Delta State). My father got married to an Itshekiri woman and so many other women from different parts of the country. My father had about 35 children. At a point, there was no money to train us in school. He couldn’t have done that with not less than 10 wives and 35 children. So I had to face challenges to train myself and my younger ones. I was a printer before I became an Insurance Executive and then a contractor before I ended up at Nicon Hilton Hotel, Abuja. If I hadn’t passed through challenges, how would I have coped with what I face in my community? How would I have been able to take care of my people? I worked in Aba as a manager in an insurance company. I also worked in Onitsha, Maiduguri and some other places. There is really no place in Nigeria that I have not been to. I am a complete Nigerian.
How did you cope with your step mothers and step siblings?
God in His infinite mercy will always give you His grace. You cannot be anything unless it has been ordained by God. I didn’t marry on time because I wanted to take care of my younger ones and take care of their education. My mother had 10 of us and three died. I trained all my siblings and they are okay now. I married late. It was after I had taken care of them that I got married in 1978 and started taking care of my own children. I helped to train everybody with what I was earning back then. I put my lifestyle in check. I didn’t attend parties, it wasn’t part of my training and besides, I had a lot of people to cater for and there was no need to squander money anyhow.
Do you still remember your days at Sapele?
I remember those days very well. I was born there and I grew up there. I was brought back to my home town when I was three but after my secondary school days, I was taken back to Sapele. I would say I still love the place very much. Sapele was very peaceful then.
At what time did you choose to become independent?
I started fending for myself very early in life. My parents died when I was young. At 15, I had already started taking care of myself and my siblings. It wasn’t easy at all. I suffered a lot but I thank God that it is over. If I used 30 years to ‘suffer,’ I should thank God for making life more comfortable for me now. It wasn’t easy at the beginning.
Why didn’t you further your education?
I considered it. I actually wanted to do it but later on, I decided to forget about it. Thank God, my children started where I stopped and they have all surpassed me today.
Were there times you blamed your father for having so many wives?
Back then, it was a normal thing to marry more than one wife. They believed that they needed wives and children to help them in their farm. People with just one wife were not considered as anything. But now, times have changed. What would you want to do with more than one wife?
But didn’t you marry more than one?
I didn’t want to marry more than one wife but my first wife gave me problems. The first wife is a very sensitive area in a man’s life. If the first wife is responsible and caring, you wouldn’t need to ‘chase’ another woman but when she is giving you problems and she is not doing well, you would want to take solace in another woman. Most of us who have more than one wife today, it was the first wife that pushed us to do that. I am sure that women experience such too. If you marry the first husband and he is a drunk who beats you and plays ‘tete,’ it will get to a point the woman would want to leave the man. My father was never a king. He just married so many women to help him in his farmland.
Why do traditional rulers marry young girls when they have advanced in age?
When you are 18 or 20 years or thereabout, you are not yet wise. You can marry a woman who doesn’t live up to your status because of the condition you found yourself in at that time. You may have even married an illiterate woman at that time. Now, the weather has changed and you have become a ‘big’ man, it may become necessary for you to get an educated wife. More so, if the first wife is not ready to go to school, there would be need for you to marry somebody who is educated. That is why you see men marrying somebody younger. By my position, I should marry a literate woman that should help me carry out my job when I am not around. She would be able to answer to people when I am not around. I could delegate some part of my work to her. Is there a reason I shouldn’t marry a university graduate? I think it is necessary. She would have ideas and she would be able to be outspoken. There was a time I had a problem with my wife, she went into the room and tore all my certificates. Just think about it. It was even a minor problem and she just got annoyed. But had it been she was educated, she wouldn’t have done that.
So you are saying you are going to marry another woman?
Oh yes! As an Oba, I can marry more than one wife and traditionally, you don’t count oba’s wives. Oba’s wives can be 20 and his children can be 100. That is the rule. I can go to the US and I see a white woman and I marry her. I can come back home and meet a Calabar woman and may decide to marry her.
As an Oba, are your people so happy with you?
Nobody can please the world. No man is an Island. We are trying our best to do the best we can in this community. No matter what you do in life, some people will still sabotage you. That is life. People only recognise your work when you are dead. Look at Jesus Christ, when he was alive, people didn’t value Him until He died and the same thing for Prophet Mohammed. He was not loved when he was alive. It was after his death that the whole world began to celebrate him. I am an Alhaji and I am also a JP. I am both a Christian and a Muslim. I am trying the best I can but some would still criticise you. I like such because criticism helps me to work harder and I make corrections where I have erred. I can say my people love me.
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